4 Lies About MotherHood
Ok you guys, let me start this off by saying if you’re easily offended and aren’t very open minded, you probably should exit the page. Otherwise please stay! These things are just my personal opinion and how things personally went for me throughout my experiences so far as a mother.
So of course with motherhood, lots of scary things happen to you and your mind, your life, your surroundings, your child, etc. You overthink literally everything, and it almost seems like anything that you decided to do with your child is always the wrong thing…according to everyone else. LOL. Get where I’m going with this yet? Or totally confused? Me too.
I want to chat about 4 little “lies” or just things that didn’t go the way people wanted and things about motherhood that were so hammered into my brain before (and after) my little guy got here that I almost lost my…sanity.
Ok so not to scare my soon to be new mom’s out there, but this is true to an extent. At least for me. I feel like my ability to adjust to mom life didn’t really come until Axel was maybe 6 months or older. Bare with me guys, my memory is like baby powder. I can’t remember things very well anymore. My life before my son came was flexible, unplanned, wild, careless and just overall a hot mess. I didn’t care much about things and I lived every day how I wanted. I didn’t do much overthinking. Of course with time, and meeting my fiance, my crazy days calmed down and we became each other’s best friend and starting doing more things together that included more quality time rather than party time. When I found out I was pregnant, I was surprised, but also not surprised. Funny how that works. *Wink wink* Finding out that you’re pregnant is just one of those moments that you really just cannot explain. I remember thinking of what he would look like, what I would look like after having him, what my life would look like, what kind of mother would I be? Yada, yada yada. After he was born, things were hectic. I got absolutely NO SLEEP, worried about him non stop, even when he was right beside me. I worried that I was spending too much time on Axel and forgot about everyone else around me. I even cried about the fact that I was “neglecting” my dogs! Everyone adjusts to things differently, but when someone tells you that things come “natural” when you become a mom, please take that very very lightly. You will do everything in your power to take the best care of your baby butterball for me, there was always that thought that I could do better. I felt very emotional, cried at random times of the day for literally NO reason, wouldn’t leave the house, wouldn’t leave him with dad…I just felt so alone. I felt like I had no friends, no one to talk to. I was losing my mind! I wanted to enjoy my brand new moments of motherhood and everything was just a mess in my brain. Long story short, I came to my senses and spoke with my doctor and began to find my peace. After Axel turned about 3 months old, I began to feel this rush of pure happiness within myself as I finally began to build a new routine of life. This was how I’m going to live now. I am someone’s mother now. I am his everything. I knew I needed to shake off this funk and woman up and be the best mom I could be. So you WILL adjust, just at your own pace. Don’t expect motherhood to be easy because it’s not. Adjusting is just half of becoming a mom. A new life has been created for you, so take hold of it. You have no other choice anyways. 🙂
Breastfeed Your Baby.
As long as your baby is fed, then you’re doing a good job. Don’t let all these FB mom groups overwhelm you and make you feel like because you decided to use formula that now your baby is going to grow horns and start spitting fire from its mouth. To be honest, I still don’t really know why I decided to formula feed. When someone asks me, I say because well, I just didn’t want to. At the time, I was still working full time and in my head I was thinking of all the preparing I’d have to do in order to supply milk for him when I had to go back to work. I thought about all the times I would have to go into the bathroom to pump in a workplace filled with men and it just made me a little uncomfortable. I tell myself now that I’m a stay at home mom that for the next one (and probably last one) that I will try to give breastfeeding a shot. I also just think it’s hard work. Not that I don’t think I can handle it…but, well maybe I don’t think I can handle it and that’s another reason why I just didn’t even start. My mother formula fed me and all my sisters and we are all intelligent, healthy, and last I checked I didn’t have anything growing out of my forehead. Do what you think you need to do for your baby and yourself. Honestly I still to this day post in a few mom groups here in there on Facebook, but BE CAREFUL. A lot of times people will take this opportunity to make you feel like pure dog s*** for deciding to do something other than what they did with their child. Don’t take this the wrong way, I’m also not saying DON’T breastfeed, that’s a great thing too. Moral of the story here is, do what you want to do with YOUR baby. In the end, it’s less stressful and you’re the mother.
Ugh. I know some moms will probably hate me for this but….I slept with Axel until he was probably about 3 or 4 months old. When I brought him home we soon realized he had major acid reflux issues that caused him to choke easily and stop breathing for short periods of time. It freaked me out like no other, so I wanted him by my side at all times. I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. Even if you get super lucky and bring home your beautiful new baby and he or she is absolutely perfect, doesn’t cry, sleeps well, doesn’t choke on milk, you are still going to be paranoid. You’ll be checking over and over every 5-10 minutes to see if they’re still breathing while they’re sleeping, GUARANTEE IT. I swear it’s natural! Now when I talk about these things I’m referring to a brand new mom like myself. I’m literally learning as I go with this “mom thing” He’s 20 months old, so he’s still kickin so I think it’s safe to say I must be doing something right.
People will tell you that there are dangers to sleeping with your new baby (which I don’t disagree) but at the same time, aren’t there dangers with just about everything else we do these days? I mean seriously! Why don’t you think I didn’t get sleep? Because I couldn’t close my eyes with him next to me. I learned as I went. We decided that it was better for him to sleep in a rock n’ play at night because it had a slight incline which worked in his favor for his acid reflux issues. A few months later after Axel got too long for the Rock N’ Play my dad bought him a Dock A Tot, which is a pillow-like device that makes co-sleeping safe for your baby. We used that for a little while until he turned about 7 months old and that is when we transitioned him into sleeping in the crib. Ever since then, that’s where he sleeps! (with the occasional waking up at 3 am to crawl into our bed, *eye roll*) Not all babies are the same. Not all mothers are the same. It’s ok to do something different, just be a good mom. People like that s***.
Sleep When Your Baby Sleeps.
HAHA! Another *eyeroll*
Yes it sounds great at the time and yes you’re going to be so freaking tired that you won’t know what day it is, time it is and the last time you showered or brushed your hair. BUT. When that precious little bundle of chunk finally falls asleep you will most likely find yourself wandering around the house looking at all the laundry that needs to be done, dishes that need washed, dogs that need fed, counters that need wiped, trash that needs taken out…plus more. Sorry my love, you’ll be too anxious to get the house back in order while the baby is sleeping. I rarely remember taking a nap when Axel slept when he was a newborn. The first few months I didn’t even want to leave his side to even do anything around the house. I had to be there to make sure he kept breathing duh! Hubs will help I’m sure, just like Dustin did…but it just won’t feel right because you have your own routine. You know not to put the bras in the dryer, you like to feed Harley 3 cups of dog food not 4, and the dishes are supposed to be washed with near scalding hot water not warm! Ok slight exaggeration but you get me, right?
It’s all a process. The routine will come. Don’t worry. Your house might look a mess right now but seriously don’t sweat it. Take the help if it’s offered. Don’t be stubborn like I was. There are family and friends out there that genuinely want to help you out because they’ve been there and they know. You got this!
Hopefully these little trinkets of my life and how I see them haven’t completely scared you away from having children if you don’t have any yet, but I like to be honest with people. I want everyone to know the other sides of motherhood that a lot of people don’t talk much about. It’s the best thing you’ll ever experience in your life, but also the hardest. Would I change anything about it? Hell no! Just keep positive, embrace every moment and keep on keepin on loves and don’t blink, they grow fast.
None of the items mentioned are sponsored. Added links for help if you’re interested in purchasing these items for your baby. All professional photos are by my good friend and amazing photographer, Jenny Mundy Photography.